Ch - ch - ch - Changes!

Ya'll!!!!

I've got a hot date tomorrow night.

It's the first going out-no kids-spend money-have a sitter-date in well over a year! Needless to say, I'm just a little pumped.

So. . .

I went shopping today. Cato's clearance. Spent $40.00 - jewelry, shoes, shirt and slacks.

Oh, and the pants I tried on? Size 12!!

AND THEY FIT!!!

Oh! My! Gracious! Last time I was a size 12 was over 14 years ago. Seriously.

Here's a picture of me close to my heaviest, in 2006.

And yet another one.

I still can't understand how I could look like that but not realize that that's what I looked like. When I looked in the mirror every day, that is not what I saw. I'm almost ashamed to see those pictures now . . . how could I ever let myself feel so bad, so tired, so sore - and never do anything to try to fix it?

But I digress.

Back to today. So the girls and I came home, and I tried everything on for them. They wanted to take pictures, so we had a mini fashion show.

Wanna hear some other numbers?

You know, cause you care?

During the month of January, I did cardio 6 days a week, with some strength training 3 days of the week. My cardio consisted of Zumba classes at the gym (LOVE IT!!!!), running, and getting on the stationary bike. I can now run 35 minutes without stopping, and have done as much as 50 minutes on the bike. Woo hoo!!

My results were so good, Ivan decided it would be a good investment for me to be able to join the gym - he's not used to me loving exercise! :)

And you know, Ivan knows a good investment when he sees one.

Oh, you want to know the results?

You know, it's not really that big of a deal. Just a little bit. . .

Okay, okay!

15 pounds! And 13.5 inches! Off this short-stuff 5 foot body!

I realize that in the grand scheme of life, my weight loss journey is not a big deal. It seems kind of silly to be so excited about something so superficial-feeling. But I'm changed on the inside more than on the outside. I feel like a new woman. . . I'm finding a new confidence in myself - a new joy in life - a new appreciation for this body the Lord gave me, and how much it can do if I push it just a bit! I have so much more energy - and so much more of myself to give to others. I'm finding new fulfillment in my ministry here at home. I'm serving my family so much better.

I still have a long way to go. I'm 39 pounds down from my highest weight, and I have 41 (at least) to go. But you know what?

I'm gonna do it.

With a smile on my face, and a song in my heart. (Thank you, Lord, for saving my soul! Thank you, Lord, for making me whole! Thank you, Lord, for giving to me. . . life more abundant, so rich and free!)

Where, Oh Where, Has my Margie Gone?

I'm here! I'm still here!!


Contrary to popular belief, I have NOT dropped off the face of the earth. Really.


I mean it.


Let me 'splain.


I blog for me. Blogging, so far, has been MY time. A time where I think about me.


I think about what I like and don't like.


I think about what I'M like, and not like.


I think about what God is doing in my life.


What He's teaching me.


How He's growing me.


And every once in a while, those thoughts make a little bit of sense on the screen.


I re-tell funny things that happen in our family - things I don't want to forget.


It's MY time. I try not to blog when my children are awake and need me. I usually don't blog when my hubby's home. (Cause, you see, I am married to him, not this computer.) :) So, normally, I blog on Thursday, Friday and/or Saturday night when he's working at his 2nd job. It's a small window of opportunity, but I do what I can.


I still love to blog, and have all kinds of thingys floating around in my head wanting to be blogged about.


And, I will get to them.


Just not today. :)


You see, for the past 2 or 3 months, I've had something else vying for my "Me time". Something very important.


Taking care of myself.


I'm counting calories. I'm strength training. I'm doing 30-45 minutes of cardio 6 or 7 times a week, whether it's running, Zumba classes, or walking with Leslie Sansone.


So, in the midst of priority #1 (my 3 girls, plus 2 more that I take care of at different times through the week), priority #2 (getting school done every day), priority #3 (being the godly wife I should be) and priority #4 ( keeping our home in some semblance of order), I'm really trying to take care of me, so I can continue to juggle everything that I love so much. At this point, it takes a LOT of time.


I'm hopeful that it won't always be this way. One day, I won't have to be so stringent about counting every calorie that goes into this mouth. One day, I'll kind of know just what I can eat, and how much.


For now, however, I need to dedicate this much time to this. Because you know what? This isn't a passing phase. Not this time. I am absolutely changing the way I live. I'm changing my eating habits, and I'm changing how much this ole body moves.


I'm just beginning to see the outward changes. Yippee!!! But you know what's even better than that? The inward changes that I've felt for the past few months. I'm succeeding! I'm running 2 miles at a time and I'm in control of the food that goes into my mouth. Food used to be in control of me. It's a very sad/sick feeling to know/feel that as much as you shouldn't have that brownie, you just don't have the willpower to resist it. To feel like a failure every time you eat, because you just can't seem to stop.


I've felt that way for many many years. And I can't even really tell you why. But I feel that way no longer! I tell you, every time I eat now, it's one more notch in my success belt. In the past 2 weeks, I've gone over my calories one day. That's it! And when that happened, I didn't give up and quit like I had every other time. I questioned why I did it, figured out the answer, and began again the next day, knowing I could remain in control.


It's a good feeling. One that I don't want to let go of.


Ivan found this picture yesterday flipping through the photos he had on his phone, taken in late November. Just 2 1/2 months ago. It's obviously a picture of the girls, but there I am in the lower left corner, looking like a linebacker at the computer. Look at that back, and those shoulders, and that big ole rear end! Why couldn't I see that this is what I looked like?

Ivan kept trying to tell me when he found this that I don't look like this anymore. I didn't believe him.

I'm in the same size clothes. Very few clothing items "feel" different. I don't SEE much change when I look in the mirror.

So, we recreated the picture, sans Emma and Sarah. We tried to get me in about the same position, with the same clothes on. Yes, the shirt's a different color, but it's the same shirt. Same brand, same style, same.

Here's me yesterday.

Can you see the difference?

I know, I know . . . I've still got a bit of a muffin top - I've still got a long ways to go. (Like 45 pounds!) But, I'm on my way. No pills, no medical help, no shortcuts. Just good old-fashioned diet and exercise.

So, bloggy world, forgive me for not visiting as often as I should. I love you, and miss you old friend. :) Although I don't see you as often as in days of yore, I think of you often, and MEAN to stop by.

My busy days will soon be gone. So although I'm not here as much, I am still here. I will return.

Hopefully this week.

Cause you KNOW you can't get rid of me THAT easily!

Tag - You're It!

My first bloggy tag! Angie over at Messy Cars and Muddy Shoes tagged me for this fun-ABC-get-to-know-you-thingy. She has a great blog, ya'll. She tells the funniest stories. So here you go - more information than you ever wanted to know about me, delivered nicely on a shiny silver platter.



A - Age: 35. How can that be? I still feel 25. Well, maybe 28. I feel smarter than 25, younger than 35. If I'm really 35, then I only have 1 or 2 baby-making years left. We need to pray and decide on this soon!

B - Bed size: Queen. We've gone back and forth the last 11 years, switching from Queen to King then back again. We love the space of a King, then hate the space of a King 'cause we're on opposite ends. We kinda enjoy sharing a bed - it doesn't really feel like we do when we've got a King. ALL that to say, Queen of hearts for us.

C - Chore you hate: Toilets.

D - Dog's name: Ginger.

E - Essential start your day item: This is so exciting - ya'll won't be able to contain yourselves. A bed that's made. Actually, that probably tickles my mama pink. This is a pretty recent development in my life. I've NEVER been good at making my bed every day. In the past year or so, I've discovered that once I make my bed, I'm more productive all through the day. Bed a mess? So is my day. Flybabies around the world say the same about their shiny sinks. For me, it's my bed.

F - Favorite color: Red. Love. Roses. Strawberries.

G - Gold or Silver: Both, please!

H - Height: 5' 1/2'' - Hey, give me a break! I'll take every half inch I can! Especially since dear hubby is 6'3" . . .

I - I am: immensely blessed. In no way do I have a perfect life, a perfect family, a perfect faith. But I do have a perfect God in whom I place my trust. He has blessed me so much. My outlook is probably hard for some to understand. My father died when I was 24, I've had 3 miscarriages, we're barely making ends meet, we're coming out on the other side of marital crisis and loss of trust, etc. etc. etc. To the world, this doesn't really look like a blessed life. But I tell ya, when you've got a living God speaking to your heart, transforming you day by day, you know you are blessed. He's given me so much that I don't deserve. I am blessed.

J - Job: Domestic Diva. I wish people wouldn't laugh when I put that on doctor's forms and such.

K - Kids: 3 daughters on earth, 3 babies in heaven.

L - Living arrangements: Little one story brick house with hubby, 3 girlies, 2 cats and a newly acquired dog.

M - Mom's name: Nancy

N - Nicknames: Marnie, Marge (I sure hope you're not thinking Large Marge, or even Marge from the Simpson's.) Ugh.

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: I don't think I've got one! Mama, do I have one? Oh, unless you count Aubrey's week in and out of the hospital with her jaundice after I had her. But I still consider that a part of her birth.

P - Pet Peeve: I have to agree with Angie on this one. My kids leaving things laying wherever they last used them. Especially when I've really worked at cleaning up. It's such a battle for me. Either my house is a mess and I'm stressed out from it, or I've just cleaned it and I'm Martyr Mommy on a roll. I'm definitely working on keeping my joy when I feel as if I'm picking up the same toy for the 20th time in a day.

Q - Quote from a movie: "I love smiling. Smiling's my favorite!" Will Ferrell in Elf. That may not even be quoted right, but it's sure how it's repeated in our house every week!

R - Right or left handed: Right.

S - Siblings: Two sisters, I'm the middle girl.

T - Time you wake up: Su, M, Fr, Sa - whenever the baby wakes up, usually around 7:00.
Tu, W, Th - 5:30, so I can have my quiet time before the baby I keep arrives at 6:15. Sadly, I struggle "working" my quiet time in on the days I don't make myself wake up early. I also (obviously) struggle with making myself get up at 5:30 on the days I don't have to!

U- Underwear: Yes, please.

V - Vegetable you dislike: Let's see here - brussel sprouts, spinach, squash, most peppers, carrots, cauliflower, beets. How 'bout if I say what I DO like? Green beans, raw broccoli, cucumbers. Oh, and corn - if that's actually counted as a veggie anymore. Thank goodness my children take after their father and love vegetables! Asparagus and spinach out of a can - disgusting!

W - Ways you run late: Fixing the girls' hair always takes a little longer than I expect. I HATE running late, though - so their hair isn't always - pretty. I know - I should be ashamed. But I don't run late very often. 'Cause I hate being late. In case I didn't say that before.

X - X-rays you've had: As far as I can remember, I've only had my right middle finger x-rayed. I didn't catch a basketball in high school as elegantly as I wanted - it jammed my middle finger and chipped part of the bone.

Y - Yummy food you make: Homemade Cinnamon Rolls, Cheesecake, Peanut Butter Balls, Baked Chicken. I made some pretty decent Chicken and Dumplins today, too.

Z - Zoo favorite: Monkeys.


I tag:

Michele @ Such Joy!

Jill @ Pathway to Purpose

Amy @ Buffaloes & Butterfly Wings

Ann @ Ann's Thoughts

Lea @ Cici's Corner

If you want to play along, copy the ABC categories, delete my answers, insert your own, and tag someone else. Have fun!

Time to Party Like It's 2009 . . .

Today I'm joining Lynette over at Dancing Barefoot for her Harvest of Friends Blog Party. I'd love to meet some new peeps, so I'm in! If you'd like to participate, just click on the banner above for all the info. You've got all week, so join us if you've got a blog!

Now, for some randomness of me.

1. What's your favorite thing to snack on while you're blogging? Chocolate. Oh, chocolate. I'm seriously trying to work on this - limit myself to water - or just a few chocolate chips. But chocolate and feelings. I really like to have them together. I sort through a lot of feelings when I'm blogging - chocolate just belongs right in the mix! (Anyone else feel this way, or am I crazy?)

2. What is one thing you wouldn't want to live without? Jesus. I know, I know, it's the churchy answer - and this isn't church! But hear me out here. A year ago, I would have said my family. And I STILL wouldn't want to live without them. But my family has been through the fire this past year - over and over and over again, it seems. I'm not sure I would still be surviving, much less thriving right now, if it weren't for the loving, comforting presence of Jesus in me. So I don't want to live without my family, but if that were God's will for my life, I could make it as long as I still have my Lord. It wouldn't be easy, but I would get through. I COULDN'T live without Jesus.

3. Beach, Mountains, or Farm? Where would you live if you had a choice? No question here - absolutely, positively, unequivicably the beach! I could walk for hours and hours and hours along the shore, picking up perfect little sand dollars and such. The sounds, the smell, the water, the sand. One of God's most wondrous creations!

4. What's your least favorite chore/household duty? Duh, toilets. I'm EXTREMELY thankful for them, but ew.

5. Who do people say you remind them of? I haven't heard anything since Clueless was out and Brittany Murphy was still brunette and innocent. Please don't tell me I look like her now. She's a little - harsh to me.

6. Prefer parties and socializing or staying at home with the fam? It seems that the older I get, the more of a homebody I become. I love people - but I love the peace of my home, too. I've also recently discovered that I'm not as good at meeting new people in person as I used to be. My husband is the life of the party. I think I've spent the last 11 years happily letting him take the lead in social situations. Now I get pretty nervous in a new place if he's not right by my side. I know, it's a little sad.

7. What's your all time favorite movie? "We go together, like rama-lama-lama-ka-dinky-da-dinky-donk!" Or how 'bout "You're the one that I want, you're the one I want, I want, you-hoo-hoo! Honey!!" What's not to love about that?

8. Do you sleep in your make up or remove it like a good girl every night? Yeah, this would be something else I'm working on. I'm not a very good girl most of the time.

9. Do you have a hidden talent or a deep desire to learn something that you've never had a chance to learn? What is it? I'm not really sure I could learn how to do this, but I wish I had a beautiful, angelic singing voice. I'd love to be able to praise the Lord without cringing the whole time. Hopefully, it really is just beautiful praise to Him - maybe the ickiness gets lost in translation on its way up to Him. :)

10. What's one strange thing you're really good at? Well, duh! Obviously - I'm very good at overusing dashes when I write. Good thing I'm not a professional - my editors would cringe every time they saw me coming! - -

11. What first attracted you to your spouse? Well, it kinda took a while. (I love you, honey!) We had become fantastic friends - I soon began to get the impression he was interested in me, and I was so concerned about leading him on. Cause, well, I wasn't very interested in him that way. You know, he was such a good friend, like a brother! Sure enough, he called one night and asked me out. I was prepared. I had practiced. The speech was ready. What came out of my mouth? "Sure!!" So, we met some of his friends at the movies, and then to dinner. I was still steadfast that he wasn't my type. On the way home, (a 45 minute drive) I started to get sleepy. He noticed and began making up a fairy tale about a short little princess (me!) and how wonderful she was, and how the poor little peasant didn't deserve her.

Yeah, I was a goner. We were married 5 months later - July 25, 1998. If you'd like to see more about how far I've come from those days of non-attraction, go here.

Oh, and his boo-tay is quite cute, too.

12. What is something you love to smell? Gasoline. And cheesecake. Just not together.

13. Tell something about you that you know irritates people. I snap at my kitties when they're doing something wrong. Not snap, like, mental snap. Snap, like snap my fingers, snap. I had no clue that I did this until our 10th wedding anniversary. We watched our wedding video and tacked on the end was some footage of us in our first apartment - with our first kitties. I "snap" at one of them in the video and Ivan says, "You still do that!" How can you do something consistently for 10 years and never realize you do it?

14. When you have extra money (HA!) what's the first thing you think to do with it? I usually want to head out and find something pretty for my house. Like furniture. But we never have that much extra money, so I forego getting anything at all.

15. Are you a silent laugher or a loud laugher? What makes you laugh the hardest? Oh, I'm definitely a loud laugher. Sometimes an embarrassingly loud laugher. Don't tell anyone, but sometimes I'm even a snorting laugher. I try not to, but - well. You know. Other people laughing usually makes me laugh the hardest. It makes me feel not quite so bad about my own laugh. :)

16. Where is your favorite place to shop? Ross Dress for Less, me thinks. Or maybe CVS. Ours is really nice here.

17. What's one thing you'd do more often if you had more time? Definitely blog. I've lost so many posts in my mind, because I didn't stop to write them when I thought about them. Last week, I wrote 4 or 5 posts on the nights my hubby worked late and scheduled them for later in the week. This might end up working for me - time will tell!

18. Are you a big spender or frugal? Definitely frugal - but I think my frugality covers up what a big spender I could be. It's a game and a challenge to see how much I can save (or not spend at all) - this is what makes shopping fun for me. However, if it weren't NECESSARY for me to be frugal, I might have fun shopping without the game of saving. I might have too much fun. So I think frugally, and make that my mission as I head to the store.

19. Who is your favorite character of all time (from a movie or book)? (Can't be real) This is a toss-up between Danny Zuko and most of the characters in The Princess Bride. Another classic!

20. Would you want to be famous? Definitely not. I've seen fame ruin too many people. Besides, if I were famous it would be for something like winning 10,000 buckaroos on America's Funniest Home Videos for my snorting laugh. :)

So, Queen Diva in a nutshell. There you have it. Thanks for stopping by - (I'm glad to have met you!)

By the way, I'm having my first giveaway here. Hop on over and leave me a comment to be entered. (You could even subscribe or follow me if you want to!) Happy Day!

Been a while. . .

I know, I know! Where have I been? I can hardly believe it's been 4 weeks since I've written a "real" post. We've had 3 weeks on and off of 2 (yes, 2!) stomach bugs, we've started school again, and I'm taking care of a 4 month old in addition to my three kiddos. We've been busy, but it's kinda been a laid-back busy. Does that make any sense?

I have this rule that I don't blog when dear hubby is home. If he's here, we're doing something as a family for the most part. I refuse to "check out" on the computer when he's around. It's just not fair to any of us.

I've also been in a weird kind of place emotionally the past number of weeks. I'm hurting for other people, I'm hurting for myself, and I'm taking a lickin' from the Holy Spirit on a number of issues.

I'm about to get real real here, people. Prepare yourselves.

I have always with the exception of my junior year in High School been a "good girl". I've always been the cheerful one, or the friendly one, or the peppy one. Even in going through difficult times, I've tried to do the "right" thing. Handle things the "right" way. And to be honest, I've taken a lot of pride in how "good" and "nice" I am. I've ALWAYS been a rule-follower - if you've ever played cards or board games with me, you know this to be true! I can't stand a cheater - if someone cheats at a game, I want to quit then and there. I don't want to play with that person any more.



The Lord has impressed upon me lately that I have been living a works-based faith. I believe, I know that we are saved by grace and through faith, not by works. However, I'm not too sure that I've been living what I believe. It wasn't until my world fell apart a number of months ago that I realized how messed up my deep-down thinking was. You see, I got a little upset that I was going through such hard times. "What did I do to deserve this?" was my question of the day. For many days. And many months. Those were just my thoughts, however. On the outside, I was handling everything just as I knew the Lord would have me handle it. With love. With peace. With forgiveness. And on the inside, those feelings/actions were real. My gracious Father filled me with so much of Himself that I was able to handle things the "right" way. However, I was wrong in thinking, "Okay, I handled it all the right way, where's my reward? Where's my blessing?" That, my friends, is works-based living. And I'm just now realizing how badly I've struggled with it my whole life. I've mistakenly lived out the thought that if I do everything right, bad things won't come my way.



You wanna know how the Holy Spirit is showing me the error of my ways? He's helping me to see myself through REAL lenses. Not self-lenses. I think (I hope) that we all have the natural inclination to think of ourselves more highly than we ought. So even though I've taken such pride in the past of how good a person I am, I'm beginning to see myself as the ugly ball of sin that I am. I am so ugly inside, ya'll. So while I've been pointing out the specks in others eyes, God has been beating me over the head with the 2X4 that's in my own eye. Yeah, it's not so pleasant.



But, praise God, I'm His. And He's still workin' on me. He can change this old heart of mine.



And He is.



Bit by bit.



Day by day.



How could I ever live without Him?

It's an Invasion!

Image via Wikipedia

Have you ever done something so completely out of character that you thought aliens must have invaded overnight and taken over your body?

That didn't happen to me this morning. Nope. Not at all.

I didn't get in the shower at 11:00 this morning. While in the shower, I didn't take a closer look at the tile floors of my shower. This tile floor has always been a bit 'discolored', which I had concluded was just evidence of the OLD OLD age of this tile floor. You see, I had cleaned my shower many times, and the color of the tile floor never changed. However, after this closer look, I didn't then take my fingernail and scrape said tile floor.

Uh-oh.

Something scraped off.

I didn't then do what any self-respecting, family-loving wife and mother would do. I didn't march myself right out of my shower and into my haircut supply bin. I didn't take out my straight razor. I didn't commence to get down on my hands and knees in said shower, scraping away, tile by tile, years of soap scum and dirt and whatever the heck else was on that floor until the water ran cold.

Nope. Not me.

'Cause I struggle enough to keep the clutter in my home at bay. A straight razor? To my shower floor?

Who am I, and what happened to the real me?

If you wanted to, you might could eat off this floor.

But I would seriously wonder about you if you did.

When It Rains, It Pours . . . or Gushes. . .

Image by nebraskasc via Flickr

take your pick!

Have you ever had a bad day? Not a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. . . just a little bad day? That was me yesterday afternoon. There wasn't anything really wrong, I was just a little melancholy all day. No reason, really. . . I think I'll blame it on hormones. :)

Ivan worked late and got home around 8:30. I had the girls bathed and ready for bed. By 9:30 he and I were sitting in bed, chatting and trying to reconnect - catch up on our day. All of a sudden, what do we hear?

Splash! Gush! Spill! More splash! More gush! More spill!

AGH! The hose on the back of our washing machine had detached, and water was SPEWING all over the floor. Folks, we had a little flood on our hands. A little one inch flood. At 9:30 at night. 2 feet away from hardwood laminate floors we put down 15 months ago. Not fun.

We grab every towel we can find, and soak up as much as we can. We don't have enough towels, so we started grabbing dirty clothes from the hamper, trying to save our floors.

To make this long story short, here is my home today. In the hallway, where our washer and dryer are, we've got the wood laminate flooring pulled up, with the liner underneath it exposed, box fan trying to dry it out.

In the hallway entrance, we've got 3 laundry baskets overflowing with WET clothes and WET towels, waiting for their turn back in the washer. (Wish it wasn't a rainy day, I'd hang them out on my clothesline and get it done a little faster).

In the dining room, things look pretty normal except for the concrete floor, looking black and nasty from old glue that's on it. (Water seeped under the wall into the dining room and we had to remove/throw out the flooring we had in there last night). (Which meant we had to move the table, chairs, and 3 other pieces of wood furniture out of there last night after we saved the hallway flooring).

Maybe we could consider it a date night and we'll feel a little better about the whole thing.

Okay, maybe not.

All that to say. . . I was a little more melancholy after we crawled in bed for good last night, 2 hours later.

You always hear, "Sleep on it. You'll feel better in the morning"!

So, here I am today.

I'm thankful that I have a washer and dryer.

I'm thankful for the roof over my head.

I'm thankful for the air conditioning.

I'm thankful I have 3 happy, healthy girls.

I'm thankful I have a husband who loves me, and gives me backrubs after bad days like this.

I'm thankful I have clothes to wash and mop up dirty water. :)

I'm thankful it was the washing machine we had to deal with instead of a fire from the dryer.

Rereading this, it all seems kind of silly, huh? I am so blessed! My life is not horrible because I had to deal with a little water and extra work last night. I'm not trying to sound that way at all. I was just truckin' along, feeling okay, and this seemed to be that little straw. You know, the one that broke the camel's back? I'm so thankful for the life I have, and the life I live. I'm just a little irritated. That's all.

I think the Lord is working on our pride. Pride can really sneak up on you pretty quickly, we're learning. Sometimes our pride causes us to focus on the wrong things, and sometimes it causes us to make the wrong decisions. So, in the spirit of learning and discipline, we're going to pull up our bootstraps, swallow our pride, and deal with an ugly, unfinished dining room floor until we can REALLY afford something new. That something new may not be exactly what we wanted. It may be a whole lot cheaper, and a whole lot more about function than style. However, if the Lord is trying to teach us about pride, I'm gonna try to learn.

Thank You, Father, for working in our lives, and teaching us humility and contentment. And thank You for being with us on our Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Days.

11 Ways to be a Better Wife

Image via Wikipedia

Today we celebrated our 11th anniversary. Believe me, we've had frugal anniversaries before, but this year. . . well, let's just say we had to get REEAAALL creative. We talked about what we could do, and decided to write each other a love letter. In my letter to Ivan, I told him my top 11 favorite things about him, then wrote out 11 things that I will work on for him, and for our relationship in general. Then I cracked open The Book and got busy.

Now I don't know about you, but for me, when I read some of the verses in the Bible, I think about other people and other relationships, not my marriage. What a difference it makes to shift my thinking just a little bit, and try to apply them to us. Here's what I told Ivan I will be working on:

1. Philippians 2:3-4

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others".

I hope I'm not alone struggling with this! My biggest downfall is in thinking about my "needs". I selfishly think, "He should be trying to meet my needs. . . I'm trying to meet his!" How loving is that? I'm sure he'd rather me not try to meet his needs at all if that's my motivation. This is definitely a biggie for me.

2. Philippians 4:6

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God".

My husband has enough weight on his shoulders without me worrying about everything and him having to deal with my anxiety. I'm going to try to hand those worries to the Lord before I dump them on my husband.

3. Ephesians 5:22

"Wives, be subject to your own husband, as to the Lord".

You didn't think you'd get through this without this one, did you? When there is a big decision to be made, I'm going to tell Ivan my opinion, then try to let him make his decision on his own. When I'm trying to force my viewpoint, and convince him to do things how I think they should be done, I'm not letting him be the spiritual leader the Lord has commanded him to be. I always wanted to marry someone who would try to lead our family spiritually - yet I find myself not letting him many times. Definitely something I'm working on.

4. 1 Peter 3:8-9a

"To sum up, let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil, or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead;"

I so want Ivan to think of me as a blessing. I'm sure this is pretty morbid, but if I end up dying before he does, how will he remember me? Our time here together is so limited, when you think in terms of eternity. It seems like a pretty big waste of time to be insulting each other and egging on discord when the Lord can lead us in being harmonious.

5. Ephesians 5:33b

"And let the wife see to it that she respect her husband".

Here's another one that's not always easy to hear. However, I'm beginning to see how simple it really is. Ladies, I believe that men THRIVE under the respect they receive. We thrive in being cherished, they thrive in being respected. Although I'm obviously not a man, I think men feel disrespected through our words AND our body language. A rolling of the eyes, a sigh of frustration . . . we can tear them down so easily with this - and turn them away from us. I want Ivan to know, without me saying it, that I respect him. Period.

6. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10a

"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion".

First, am I a companion to Ivan? Do I regularly watch out for his needs and try to take care of them? Can he confide in me, and trust that his secrets are safe? Secondly, am I taking care enough of myself so that when he should fall, I have the mental capacities to lift him up again? Am a being a "team player" in this marriage, so we have a good return for our labor?

7. Proverbs 3:11-12

"The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life".

Read that again. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. I TRY to do good for Ivan, but my selfishness gets in the way ALL THE TIME. So although I may not be intentionally being evil, there are plenty of times that I'm not doing him good.

8. James 1:2-4

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing".

This is not the first thing that comes to my mind when we're having a disagreement. In fact, it NEVER comes into my mind at that time! I'm beginning to believe that if I think of our disagreements as God trying to grow me, I will behave differently in the midst of them.

9. Philippians 3:13

"Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead. . . "

I know that this verse is not specifically talking about the marriage relationship - but it could change your relationship with your husband if you let it! We've heard it all our lives "Don't bring up past offenses". That's hard to do, especially if your spouse brings up all that you've done wrong in the past. Whether it's a little spat, or a major offense that needs forgiveness, at the point that you forgive them it shouldn't be spoken of again.

10. Proverbs 31:26

"She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue".

Okay. . . this one is difficult. We women have lots of things coming off our tongues, as evidenced in this post! :) Is kindness what Ivan thinks of when he thinks of my words? What about wisdom? Does he think I talk to much, that I'm a busybody? If so, then I doubt he puts "Margie" and "wisdom" together.

11. Philippians 4:8

"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things".

This baby covers a multitude of things! What I think of most is - are the majority of my thoughts about Ivan pure, lovely, excellent, honorable, etc etc etc? Or do I think on what he's done wrong, or what he's not doing for me, or the dishwasher he didn't load how I do? Love. believes. the. best. More than that, I think love should DWELL on the best. Do you look for the good things your husband does, or says? Do you kick out those negative thoughts as soon as they enter your mind? It's much simpler than you might imagine. I just had to decide to do it, and I feel the Lord has blessed that attitude. However, I certainly don't have it licked, so I'm committing to work on it more.

I know that these 11 scriptures don't even begin to touch how many we could find that would help us to be better wives. What about you? Do you have a specific verse that has helped you in some way in growing with your spouse? Please share - I need all the help I can get!!!! :)

Makeover Magic!

I think ya'll would all agree with me. . . we're going through some tough financial times. Life as a broker (and broker's wife) has been horrible a little rough lately, to say the least. Ivan, being the great daddy and husband he is, has taken on a 2nd job, to help make ends meet. So, his new working hours are 65+ hours a week.

Ew.

But we're really trying to make the most of it. I'm trying to make those days that he's gone ALL day a little more fun.

Hence. . .

Makeover Day.

The girls have really wanted to give me a makeover lately. Actually, I've needed wanted to give myself a makeover for a while now, but that's beside the point. So, I let 'em at it. Here's my before.

I know. Typical "before" image. I can't believe I'm actually posting this on here.

Here's my after.

Hee-hee! Don't you love the eyeliner halfway to my ear? In a perfectly shaped crescent? I'm also wearing a black scarf, rhinestone necklace, rhinestone bracelet, and Hello Kitty ring halfway down my pinkie finger.

Ew-wee! I know I'm hot! :) You'd better watch out, Ivan. Someone's gonna snatch me away lookin like this!

I can't believe I'm actually posting this on here.

Of course, it couldn't be a Makeover Day without my little angels getting done, too.

I present, Diva #1.

And, Diva #2.

Of course, being the diva that she is, one picture just wasn't enough.

Neither were two.

And, finally, the fabulous posed threesome.

I know. It's the stuff memories are made of. Amen.

A Peek into My Soul. . .

Time for a blog hop! Doesn't this look like fun? I think it's a great way to meet some new bloggy friends. This week's topic is 3 random things you may not know about me.

1. My current foodie obsession is Peanut M & M's. And I have to eat them a special way. Or 1 of 2 special ways, anyway. When eating these little morsels of deliciousness, you need to either (a) suck on them until the crisp chocolatey coating is melted, then eat the peanut and soft chocolate, or (b) try to bite it perfectly in half, actually only biting off 1/2 the chocolate so an entire peanut and 1/2 the chocolate is remaining. You may then commence to eat what remains. I promise you, although they are mucho delicioso when you just pop them in your mouth, for some reason they taste better when you eat them one of these two ways. Don't ask me why. They just do.

2. I struggle DAILY with putting my husband above God in my life. It is such a struggle to not make Ivan foremost in my mind and thoughts - because I can touch him, look at him, and audibly hear him respond to me. I'm usually thinking - "How can I love him better?" - and this is a good thing to think. However, I should be asking the same thing about God. Do any of you struggle with this?

3. I have a pretty big self-esteem issue. And I don't have too many reasons to, intellectually. I was raised in a loving, Christian home. My parents did a great job making me feel secure and loved. I've always been blessed with lots of friends. I have a husband who loves me for who I am, warts (or extra weight) and all. I know that I am blessed - but I really get down on myself sometimes. I have a hard time seeing myself through the Lord's eyes - although I do okay seeing others that way.

So, there you have it! I hope you join me in this fun hop!

Like Sands Through the Hourglass. . .

. . . these are the days of my life.

35. Here I am on the eve of my 35th birthday, and all I can think is. . .

It doesn't seem possible.

How could I have lived 35 years already? What happened?

Me as a wee little lass - 1975?

Have I grown? Have I changed? Have I learned anything?

Yes, I've grown. Yes, I've changed. Yes, I've learned. . . at least I'd like to think so!

What amazing experiences these years have brought! I've seen a roadrunner racing across the acrid Arizona desert. I've nearly drowned as a child in the Atlantic Ocean at Myrtle Beach. I've seen my daddy charged by a mama moose in our backyard in Alaska. I've graduated from high school, beauty school and college.

Arkadelphia, AR 1999

Arkadelphia, AR 1997

I've lost 2 grandfathers, 1 grandmother, an uncle and my daddy. I've lost 3 babies of my own.

I've found love. I've made a family.

Wedding Day - July 25, 1998

I've learned what true friends are, and what true friends aren't.

I've been hurt beyond measure.

I've also been loved beyond measure. I've spent many hours laughing, crying in joy, and crying in pain. I've mourned. I've rejoiced. I've celebrated!

I graduated from Ben Eielson High School in Alaska 17 years ago. I'm not the same person I was then. I don't trust quite so easily. I'm less sure of myself. To be honest, I'm probably a lot bit more selfish than I was then. But I wouldn't go back - and I won't regret.

High School graduation 1992

This past year alone has brought tremendous changes to my life. I've had another baby. I've made friends and lost friends. I've been through some of the best and worst times of my life in these past 12 months. We've had struggles in our family and struggles financially.

But this family is closer than I believe we've ever been. We're closer to the Lord and closer to each other.

Lord willing, I've got at least another 35 years on this earth. I'm sure many more struggles and many more successes are in store for me. I will continue to laugh, to cry, to rejoice and to mourn.

I will continue to grow. I will continue to change. And hopefully, I will continue to learn.

So, what has your journey in life taught you? What would you encourage me to do to live the rest of my life, however long that is, to the fullest?

A Memoir. . .

My Daddy, Tommy Thompson, 1990?

Not surprisingly, I've been thinking about my daddy a lot more than usual the past few days. What an amazing man and father he was. In trying to organize my thoughts for this post, a couple of different things crossed my mind.

My daddy was the father to 3 girls. And you know what? I was his favorite one.

As was my sister, Michele.

As was my other sister, Sarah.

I don't know how he did it, but he made each of us feel as if we were the most important girl on the planet (aside from Mama, of course). I don't know how familiar you are with sisters, but there can be quite a bit of competition between them. How my daddy was able to make 3 very different girls each feel so special is a testament to the man he was.

Now don't get me wrong - we each had our share of the belt - he certainly knew how to discipline - but we knew we were unconditionally loved by he and Mama.

I've also been thinking a lot about the night he died. I was the only one of us 3 girls that was able to be with him that night. Ivan and I had married in July and were living in Arkadelphia, Arkansas at the time. We traveled "home" to Kansas for Christmas. Daddy had been diagnosed with cancer that July, and we knew his time was short. My sisters were both due to arrive the day after we did.

Ivan and I pulled into the driveway around 9:00 p.m. I noticed a few extra cars in the driveway but for some reason, didn't think anything about it. We headed into the house, and there was Mama and Daddy's pastor. Mama came out of the back room and wanted to talk to us before we went back to see him. Daddy had not been doing well for the past 3 days - Mama knew his time on earth was very quickly coming to an end. She hadn't told us before we drove 8 hours, because she wanted us to be safe. (That's a mama for you, huh?) However, now that we were there, she needed to prepare us before we saw him.

My daddy had aged 30 years in about 30 days. I had seen him at Thanksgiving - he'd had a huge belly full of fluid, but otherwise pretty much looked like himself. I had teased him at that time about when his baby was due. Now, on the 21st of December, he looked like a man in his 90's.

He had been on hospice for about 2 weeks - I, personally, was so thankful we were all at home. Ivan, Mama and I stayed in his room with him all night. He was asleep most of the time. When he was awake, some of his talk seemed to be gibberish. Some was not. I remember him talking to the wall. He woke up, looked to his right, and started saying,

"Now, you take care of Nancy for me. Take care of her."

Mama asked who he was talking to. He replied,

"The angels. There's one right here, there's one at the end of the bed, and there's one in that corner."

He also talked about the hundreds of butterflies he was seeing.

It was absolutely amazing. I remember holding his hand a lot that night. I'm sure Mama and I were taking turns. As "out of it" as he was most of the night, every single time I told him I loved him, he said,

"I love you, too, hon."

Without fail.

He took his last breath by 9:00 that next morning. Sarah was already en route, and Mama called Michele in Missouri and told her he was gone. Michele's family was already getting ready to come when they got the call. I'm so thankful that I was able to be there with him, but I'll never understand why it wasn't in God's plan for my sisters to be there, too.

On Christmas morning, 3 days later, there were many gifts under the tree. Mama told us a story before we were able to open anything.

She told us that when Daddy was first diagnosed, one of the first things he said was,

"I've got to make those girls their shelves".

He had made Mama a little bookshelf for her cookbooks a few years prior. We all said we wanted one, and had all gotten married in the meantime. Daddy remembered telling us that he would make us one.

He wasn't able to do it all on his own. He had a lot of help at the end. But we each had a bookshelf under the tree.

Haven't you heard about people who are dying kind of "holding on" for something specific? Mama said that as soon as the last bookshelf was wrapped that previous Saturday, he let go. Within 3 days, he was in heaven with Jesus. She firmly believed that he was holding on until he knew our last gifts from him were done.

And we do, too.

Not surprisingly, I see a lot of my daddy in Ivan. I have no doubt that one day, our 3 girls will all feel as if they were his favorite. And that is as it should be.

I think about Daddy every day. I wish my girls knew him. I wonder if he would be proud of me as a mom, and I wonder how close he and Ivan would be if he were still with us. I have had a blessed life - I grew up in a home of security and love. I didn't have to try to win my parents' affection. I'm so thankful for every moment I had with Daddy, and I try to cherish my loved ones that are still with me in the same way.

On this Father's Day, I can't help but think about our Heavenly Father, and how secure and loved we should feel in Him.

He can make you feel as if you are His favorite.

Because He loves you.

Period.

And He is holding on for something, too. For us to live for Him.

I'm so thankful I had a Daddy who did that. And who loved his family as Christ loved the church.

I love and miss you, Daddy. I wish you were here.

Daddy as a toddler.

My New 'Do

My hair was BADLY in need of some color. I appreciate none of you saying anything - you certainly had every right to!! :) Anyway, I finally got to it today. First I colored it all, then attempted some highlights. They turned out much more red than I anticipated, but then they always do. Hopefully it's not too brassy!

I never realized I had such a big schnoz! Our poor kids. . . they don't stand a chance!!!

Welcome, Friends!

Thank you so much for stopping by my humble abode. I hope to learn and grow with you through this blog, with hopefully a few laughs along the way! What will this blog be about, you ask? Well, there's really no tellin'! What I envision, however, is a potpourri of the following, plus some. So, here's my life in a nutshell:

• My faith in Christ, and lessons He's teaching me
• Homemaking, and all that it entails
• Homeschooling
• Marriage
• Organization - or lack thereof!
• Parenting
• Food
• Frugality
• Crafting
• Books

So, there you have it. My hopes and dreams in the big world of blogging. By the way, I LOVE feedback, so I really hope to hear from you! What would you like to read/learn about through my blog? And all you veteran bloggers, I'm definitely a newbie - any suggestions are welcomed and requested! Like - how do I make my title all cutesy with a pretty font? :)