Thursday, February 4, 2010

Ch - ch - ch - Changes!


I've got a hot date tomorrow night.

It's the first going out-no kids-spend money-have a sitter-date in well over a year! Needless to say, I'm just a little pumped.

So. . .

I went shopping today. Cato's clearance. Spent $40.00 - jewelry, shoes, shirt and slacks.

Oh, and the pants I tried on? Size 12!!

Oh! My! Gracious! Last time I was a size 12 was over 14 years ago. Seriously.
Here's a picture of me close to my heaviest, in 2006.

And yet another one.

I still can't understand how I could look like that but not realize that that's what I looked like. When I looked in the mirror every day, that is not what I saw. I'm almost ashamed to see those pictures now . . . how could I ever let myself feel so bad, so tired, so sore - and never do anything to try to fix it?

But I digress.

Back to today. So the girls and I came home, and I tried everything on for them. They wanted to take pictures, so we had a mini fashion show.

Wanna hear some other numbers?

You know, cause you care?

During the month of January, I did cardio 6 days a week, with some strength training 3 days of the week. My cardio consisted of Zumba classes at the gym (LOVE IT!!!!), running, and getting on the stationary bike. I can now run 35 minutes without stopping, and have done as much as 50 minutes on the bike. Woo hoo!!

My results were so good, Ivan decided it would be a good investment for me to be able to join the gym - he's not used to me loving exercise! :)

And you know, Ivan knows a good investment when he sees one.

Oh, you want to know the results?

You know, it's not really that big of a deal. Just a little bit. . .

Okay, okay!

15 pounds! And 13.5 inches! Off this short-stuff 5 foot body!

I realize that in the grand scheme of life, my weight loss journey is not a big deal. It seems kind of silly to be so excited about something so superficial-feeling. But I'm changed on the inside more than on the outside. I feel like a new woman. . . I'm finding a new confidence in myself - a new joy in life - a new appreciation for this body the Lord gave me, and how much it can do if I push it just a bit! I have so much more energy - and so much more of myself to give to others. I'm finding new fulfillment in my ministry here at home. I'm serving my family so much better.
I still have a long way to go. I'm 39 pounds down from my highest weight, and I have 41 (at least) to go. But you know what?
I'm gonna do it.
With a smile on my face, and a song in my heart. (Thank you, Lord, for saving my soul! Thank you, Lord, for making me whole! Thank you, Lord, for giving to me. . . life more abundant, so rich and free!)

Monday, January 11, 2010

Where, Oh Where, Has my Margie Gone?

I'm here! I'm still here!!

Contrary to popular belief, I have NOT dropped off the face of the earth. Really.

I mean it.

Let me 'splain.

I blog for me. Blogging, so far, has been MY time. A time where I think about me.

I think about what I like and don't like.

I think about what I'M like, and not like.

I think about what God is doing in my life.

What He's teaching me.

How He's growing me.

And every once in a while, those thoughts make a little bit of sense on the screen.

I re-tell funny things that happen in our family - things I don't want to forget.

It's MY time. I try not to blog when my children are awake and need me. I usually don't blog when my hubby's home. (Cause, you see, I am married to him, not this computer.) :) So, normally, I blog on Thursday, Friday and/or Saturday night when he's working at his 2nd job. It's a small window of opportunity, but I do what I can.

I still love to blog, and have all kinds of thingys floating around in my head wanting to be blogged about.

And, I will get to them.

Just not today. :)

You see, for the past 2 or 3 months, I've had something else vying for my "Me time". Something very important.

Taking care of myself.

I'm counting calories. I'm strength training. I'm doing 30-45 minutes of cardio 6 or 7 times a week, whether it's running, Zumba classes, or walking with Leslie Sansone.

So, in the midst of priority #1 (my 3 girls, plus 2 more that I take care of at different times through the week), priority #2 (getting school done every day), priority #3 (being the godly wife I should be) and priority #4 ( keeping our home in some semblance of order), I'm really trying to take care of me, so I can continue to juggle everything that I love so much. At this point, it takes a LOT of time.

I'm hopeful that it won't always be this way. One day, I won't have to be so stringent about counting every calorie that goes into this mouth. One day, I'll kind of know just what I can eat, and how much.

For now, however, I need to dedicate this much time to this. Because you know what? This isn't a passing phase. Not this time. I am absolutely changing the way I live. I'm changing my eating habits, and I'm changing how much this ole body moves.

I'm just beginning to see the outward changes. Yippee!!! But you know what's even better than that? The inward changes that I've felt for the past few months. I'm succeeding! I'm running 2 miles at a time and I'm in control of the food that goes into my mouth. Food used to be in control of me. It's a very sad/sick feeling to know/feel that as much as you shouldn't have that brownie, you just don't have the willpower to resist it. To feel like a failure every time you eat, because you just can't seem to stop.

I've felt that way for many many years. And I can't even really tell you why. But I feel that way no longer! I tell you, every time I eat now, it's one more notch in my success belt. In the past 2 weeks, I've gone over my calories one day. That's it! And when that happened, I didn't give up and quit like I had every other time. I questioned why I did it, figured out the answer, and began again the next day, knowing I could remain in control.

It's a good feeling. One that I don't want to let go of.

Ivan found this picture yesterday flipping through the photos he had on his phone, taken in late November. Just 2 1/2 months ago. It's obviously a picture of the girls, but there I am in the lower left corner, looking like a linebacker at the computer. Look at that back, and those shoulders, and that big ole rear end! Why couldn't I see that this is what I looked like?

Ivan kept trying to tell me when he found this that I don't look like this anymore. I didn't believe him.

I'm in the same size clothes. Very few clothing items "feel" different. I don't SEE much change when I look in the mirror.

So, we recreated the picture, sans Emma and Sarah. We tried to get me in about the same position, with the same clothes on. Yes, the shirt's a different color, but it's the same shirt. Same brand, same style, same.

Here's me yesterday.

Can you see the difference?

I know, I know . . . I've still got a bit of a muffin top - I've still got a long ways to go. (Like 45 pounds!) But, I'm on my way. No pills, no medical help, no shortcuts. Just good old-fashioned diet and exercise.

So, bloggy world, forgive me for not visiting as often as I should. I love you, and miss you old friend. :) Although I don't see you as often as in days of yore, I think of you often, and MEAN to stop by.

My busy days will soon be gone. So although I'm not here as much, I am still here. I will return.

Hopefully this week.

Cause you KNOW you can't get rid of me THAT easily!

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