Happy Birthday, Sarah!

My dear Sarah,

You turned 6 years old today. Where has the time gone? I remember so clearly going into labor with you - it doesn't seem as if it could have been 6 years ago.

This year, you wanted a Tinkerbell cake with rings on it like the one at Wal-Mart. I did my best! :)

What a tough little infant you were! Friends tell me they remember coming to visit us, and you were in your high chair screaming your little head off, while I was just sitting on the couch, crying my eyes out. I don't remember this - but I'm sure it's true! I just never could figure out exactly what it was you wanted, and you couldn't figure out just how to tell me what I needed to know.

But, oh, the joy you bring me today! You are the life of the party. You make funny faces at the dinner table just to get everyone laughing. You LOVE to sing. You love to dance. You love to laugh and smile and spread your unique joy to all around you.

You love your sisters so much, and they adore you too.

You don't like to be alone. You like to pretend like you're shy when around new people. You are organized already - boy do I love that!

Your daily chores are to:

• help set and clear the table
• sweep
• help Emma unload the dishwasher
• help feed Aubrey sometimes
• put your dirty clothes in the hamper
• put your clean clothes away
• take out the trash

Usually, you do all of these without complaining, though I still have to remind you to do them most of the time.

For your birthday, you asked for a "real" Bible, not a storybook Bible. You want to read along and find scriptures on your own when we have Bible time for school.

Getting your first library card June 2009.

You LOVE school this year! If I could bottle this up and save it for in a few years, I sure would! Your favorite subject is History so far, but I think that when we get our Art supplies in, you'll have 2 favorite subjects! You're very good at math, and your reading and handwriting skills are very impressive for the 1st grader you are!

Making Eve out of clay, to understand how difficult it is to make a human being. History lesson, September 2009

I love you so much, my sweet girl. You are such a gift to your family!

Mommy and Sarah September 26, 2009

Cause one just isn't enough!

Been a while. . .

I know, I know! Where have I been? I can hardly believe it's been 4 weeks since I've written a "real" post. We've had 3 weeks on and off of 2 (yes, 2!) stomach bugs, we've started school again, and I'm taking care of a 4 month old in addition to my three kiddos. We've been busy, but it's kinda been a laid-back busy. Does that make any sense?

I have this rule that I don't blog when dear hubby is home. If he's here, we're doing something as a family for the most part. I refuse to "check out" on the computer when he's around. It's just not fair to any of us.

I've also been in a weird kind of place emotionally the past number of weeks. I'm hurting for other people, I'm hurting for myself, and I'm taking a lickin' from the Holy Spirit on a number of issues.

I'm about to get real real here, people. Prepare yourselves.

I have always with the exception of my junior year in High School been a "good girl". I've always been the cheerful one, or the friendly one, or the peppy one. Even in going through difficult times, I've tried to do the "right" thing. Handle things the "right" way. And to be honest, I've taken a lot of pride in how "good" and "nice" I am. I've ALWAYS been a rule-follower - if you've ever played cards or board games with me, you know this to be true! I can't stand a cheater - if someone cheats at a game, I want to quit then and there. I don't want to play with that person any more.



The Lord has impressed upon me lately that I have been living a works-based faith. I believe, I know that we are saved by grace and through faith, not by works. However, I'm not too sure that I've been living what I believe. It wasn't until my world fell apart a number of months ago that I realized how messed up my deep-down thinking was. You see, I got a little upset that I was going through such hard times. "What did I do to deserve this?" was my question of the day. For many days. And many months. Those were just my thoughts, however. On the outside, I was handling everything just as I knew the Lord would have me handle it. With love. With peace. With forgiveness. And on the inside, those feelings/actions were real. My gracious Father filled me with so much of Himself that I was able to handle things the "right" way. However, I was wrong in thinking, "Okay, I handled it all the right way, where's my reward? Where's my blessing?" That, my friends, is works-based living. And I'm just now realizing how badly I've struggled with it my whole life. I've mistakenly lived out the thought that if I do everything right, bad things won't come my way.



You wanna know how the Holy Spirit is showing me the error of my ways? He's helping me to see myself through REAL lenses. Not self-lenses. I think (I hope) that we all have the natural inclination to think of ourselves more highly than we ought. So even though I've taken such pride in the past of how good a person I am, I'm beginning to see myself as the ugly ball of sin that I am. I am so ugly inside, ya'll. So while I've been pointing out the specks in others eyes, God has been beating me over the head with the 2X4 that's in my own eye. Yeah, it's not so pleasant.



But, praise God, I'm His. And He's still workin' on me. He can change this old heart of mine.



And He is.



Bit by bit.



Day by day.



How could I ever live without Him?

Fearless by Max Lucado

To imagine my life, untouched by fear, seems wholly impossible. I deal with fear about my children's health, safety and innocence. Fear about not being able to pay the bills. Fear about losing my husband. I try not to let fear lead me, but I admit. . . . sometimes, it is a struggle.

In his new book, Fearless, Max Lucado challenges the reader to obey Christ's most often spoken statement . . . "Do not be afraid". In classic Lucado style, he explores many common sources of fear, with plenty of scripture to help overcome.

A book overflowing with beautiful word pictures, Fearless is a book of hope. It challenged me to pray about and actively work on making faith, rather than fear, my default reaction to thoughts, situations and circumstances that normally threaten me.

Maybe you're like me and your children, marriage, and finances are at the top of your worry list. Or maybe you're more concerned with terrorists, or global calamity, or your own health. If you're tired of letting fear get the best of your days, this book is like a tall glass of water on a hot day. It's an easy read, and I'll enjoy going back to it for some quick "fearless" inspiration.